I have five kids, two cats, two dogs, and two Sugar Gliders. We live in a tan ranch on a quiet court at the top of a hill with a big yard, trees to climb, plenty of swings, a trampoline, two zip lines, space to play, and a long drive that’s part chalkboard, part tennis and part basketball court.
And we love the outdoors – love to open the windows wide and invite the breezes in to play, to walk through the yard and welcome each new season. But this year spring quietly slipped through the gate while I wasn’t looking, sprouted lush and green as I clung to the edge of a cliff, hanging by a thread to two of my five kids, one breath, one look away from…
Cliffs I never expected to climb. Not me. Not my kids. They’re good kids. Both. Baptized. Confirmed. Love the Lord. Go to church. Serve Him here and overseas. Know the Word. Read it. Sing it. Play it. Hear it by choice.
And yet here we are.
We talk. A lot. Every day. Deeply. About almost everything. We laugh. I know these kids. I bore them, taught them, love them, and always will. No matter what.
Yet here we are.
In this place. Hovering at the edge. Hanging on by a thread.
And it’s humbling because not everyone understands, even inside the church, fearing addiction like a contagion. And if I’m totally honest, I understand, for I felt the same, before it was me, my kid, this cliff. Before we were here. Hanging on by a thread.
And it’s hard. And somehow good. Because we talk. Still. A lot. And laugh. And cry. And pray, sometimes simply, “Father, ohhhh…Father…no words, just I love you.”
And I hug these hurting, growing-up kids a little harder, a little longer. Thankful for another minute, one more chance to love, to give, to share this day, my heart. Clinging close. Breathing in His Presence.
And maybe it’s enough. For now. For today.
Maybe forever. Because maybe this is what it means to live in the moment. Present. Right here. Right now. On these twin peaks where self crumples to my feet in a heap, and I cling to the Rock, knowing we are His and He loves us. Always. No matter what.
“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed….Nothing will be impossible for you.” — Matthew 17:20