How Could I Ever Doubt?

I stepped out into sunset, a warm slice of western sky striped in colors unimaginable and breathed a prayer of thanks – thanks for this moment, this sky set on fire, God’s glory bursting through the clouds, and wondered how I could ever doubt, ever fail to trust the God of creation, the One who spoke all this into being.

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A cardinal caught my eye, flame of red perched on a deep green bough, and I wondered again, “How can I doubt?” My heart beats because of God. I see because of God. I touch and feel and taste and breathe because of God. I’m alive in this minute, in this place because of God. I can grasp and thread and button and zip and tie and type and text all because of God and His incredible gift of uniquely opposable thumbs. I am. because of God.

The One who spoke creation into being, who created all there is, every single thing, who gathered up dust and breathed it into life – is the very same God who created berries dripping with summer, ocean breezes, wind on my cheek, sand beneath my feet and me! How can I doubt the God who creates beauty out of dust?

But I do.

I doubted the year my brother died from a faulty beat of his heart, and after the accident when we realized my injuries would never heal, and when the surgeon gently said, “Its cancer.” I doubted the year my son got sick and just didn’t get well. And I believe, and I doubt, and I struggle to trust and let go of control. And I’ve learned that trust is rooted in love.

God’s love – everlasting love, love without fail in every circumstance of every moment of every day of our lives on this earth. Love without question or hesitation or reservation or limits. For God doesn’t care where we are or how we’re dressed or who we’re with or what we’ve done. He simply opens His heart and says, “Come. Just as you are. No matter what. Come.”

God loves us more than we can begin to imagine or understand, more than life itself, so much more that He gave up His life, sacrificed Himself for you, for me, for everyone of His beloved creation, and that is love worthy of trust. Love we can depend on, rely on, place our confidence in, TRUST. Love that will never change, never die, never fail, and never, ever end.

“Come,” God says. Just as you are. Trust. Believe. And live!

*Originally published under the title Come, Trust, Believe, Live in September, 2011. Sharing today with the vibrant community of BibleDude.net as they discuss Margaret Feinberg’s book, Wonderstruck.

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9 Comments

Filed under Devotionals

9 responses to “How Could I Ever Doubt?

  1. Oh, Cindee. I know this tension between “How could I ever doubt?” and the reality that sometimes I do. I have to remind myself that the brokenness is a lie–or at least not the complete truth, and that everything sad really is coming untrue. These concrete reminders are evidence of God’s goodness and bear witness that he is at work making all these new.

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  2. Cindee, I appreciate your honesty and I’m always wonderstruck at the ways God carries us through those times of doubt. I’ve always loved this Oswald Chambers quote:
    “Faith is the deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.”

    I’m visiting from the BibleDude 🙂

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  3. Susan Wells

    I love it when you write prose.

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  4. Pingback: Come Together | YourJesusMind

  5. Mia

    Dear Cindee,
    It is so human to allow that terrible doubt creepy crawlies to pester our minds. But the way you have submitted yourself to the beauty of everything our Lord has created, will always sent then scurrying away.
    Blessings from Dan’s.
    Mia

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  6. Come, just as you are . . . why do we find this so difficult? Yet, He reveals his acceptance and love over and over again, that we truly are enough. So glad you linked this up at BibleDude Cindee, it’s beautiful.

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  7. When we first enter into a test or trial, we need to look for a positive outcome and also try to learn what we can from it as we travel through it. All too often we don’t do this, we begin to worry or bring fear upon us. This is not what makes us stronger, this stops us in our tracks from growing spiritually. This is a lack of faith and it tells God that we do not trust Him or that we doubt that He will guide us through it.

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  8. A lovely, articulate, passionate affirmation of faith. And it was very timely for me. Thank you.

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  9. Pingback: ” Sometimes all we need to do is just Breathe..” | I N N E R D I A L E C T

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